Step 1: Spend far, far, far too long at BHG.com's pumpkin stencil maker. Here's a sample of the conversation:
Me: How about these eyes?
Claire: Are they scary?
Claire: OK. No, not those.
Repeat that about 60 times (we needed to choose eyes, nose, and mouth you know. Print, and you wind up with something like this:
Step 2: Use a large sharp knife to make a hole in the top of the pumpkin while your children look on in awe.
Step 3: Clean out the pumpkin guts. You may be able to recruit help for this.
Step 4: Tape the stencil to the pumpkin, and poke many many little holes in it with small plastic pointy objects.
Step 5: Unpeel stencil, and hurriedly carve the pumpkin face. After the kids admire it and go to bed bring it back inside to clean up the fine details.
Step 6: Force the children to pose with the pumpkin.
Step 7: When dusk settles, and the trick-or-treaters start arriving, light the pumpkin for a final photo.